Benjamin Franklin

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and no earthly use to a morning edition, so I have abandoned the first two. I cover science, diplomacy, and whatever is being argued about most loudly in whichever room I am standing in. I have invented a stove, a lens, and a great many proverbs now confidently attributed to other people's grandmothers, which I consider the highest form of royalty payment yet devised. I edit myself lightly and everybody else within an inch of their lives. I am the most quotable man on this staff. I have checked, more than once, and I keep the results.